One minute you’re on top of the world and in (what feels like) an instant, you’ve lost your edge. Stressors creep in quietly. Work becomes more hectic, you’ve withdrawn from your support group and your daily energy is drained. In complete illogical fashion, the first things the brain decides to drop are the daily habits that maintain your wellbeing. You cancel the spin class, sleep in rather than meditate, and stop journaling altogether, all under the premise that you ‘just need to rest’.
Suddenly, you’re burnt out and the thought of meditating, going to the gym, and reaching out seems all too much. How do you recalibrate?
Start small. Look for glimmers.
Coined by Clinical Social Worker Deb Dana in her 2018 book, “Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation”, Glimmers are the opposite of triggers.
Triggers occur when the sympathetic nervous system is activated through a stressful situation (such as being chased by a lion, or receiving an anxiety-inducing email), and result in increased heart rate, blood pressure and adrenaline — more commonly known as the ‘fight or flight’ state.
On the other hand, glimmers activate the parasympathetic nervous system, inducing a more ‘rest and digest’ state of being, that can cue feelings of peace, joy or safety.
Glimmers can be sparked through all the senses:
The smell of a freshly brewed cup of tea or coffee
The softness and comfort of a beloved pet
The sounds of family laughing together in the next room
The first bite of a cake made by a loved one
Seeing the crescent moon peak from behind the clouds
Engaging in mindful awareness by noting, “this is a glimmer”, stops the story in your head for a moment and propels you into the present. This also invites space for gratitude and can calm even the most overstimulated nervous system.
Set the intention to find one glimmer to savour in your day. Savouring is when you really feel, enjoy and try to extend the positive experience. You can do this by smiling or laughing, and even sharing the experience with others — either by vocalising out loud, or simply sending a text/photo/video.
Noticing one glimmer may lead to you looking for more. Over time, you spend less time looking for danger, and more time embracing joy.
Will glimmers fix all your problems? Absolutely not, but if being able to spot a moment of joy in an otherwise chaotic day offers you the space to break the ruminative dialogue and change your perspective, I encourage you to try it.
What are your glimmers?
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